I’ve been on it for so long its hard to know where to start.
I was always a really sensitive kid, I just didn’t know that I was an empath
and it was energy that I was sensitive to. I used to hear things at night that I
couldn’t explain ( like people talking – I used to think it was the TV and I would
go to turn it off but it wouldn’t be on in the first place, or the sound of a
snow shovel in the middle of summer). I knew what people were feeling, even if
they were in complete denial about it. I sometimes knew things before they
happened, and I had plenty of déjà vu experiences. So I was always curious
about death, ghosts and what happens after. Truthfully most of the stuff that I
could connect to were fiction, and were always really scary, which is still
something that affects us a lot today – most of the ghost related stuff are
still fear based with the exception of mediums (who I am super grateful for).
When I was young, I occasionally attended a Christian church
with friends which I found really interesting, until it got to the part about
if someone doesn’t believe in God or Jesus then they are going to go to hell. I
didn’t know if my parents believed in god, and I started to suspect they didn’t,
which terrified me in the beginning, then made me think about how ridiculous that
sounded. They are good people, why wouldn’t they go to a good place after they
pass!?! Then I got to thinking about the
suffering in the world and if there was a god, why isn’t he doing something
about it!?! So I full on rebelled from religion, and I got douchey about it in
my teens and probably into my early 20’s I would willingly debate religion and
put down others beliefs in it because ‘ I thought it was stupid’. Not a shining
moment in my past! I realize now that it was because I wanted to be connected
to god, but I felt like I wasn’t able to fulfill my end of some crazy bargain,
like I didn’t get the rule book that made sense, and I didn’t have healthy
examples of religious people to be guided by. That phase in my life was a great
blessing, it taught me to question, not only what religion was, but who I am
and what feels right for me.
Around the age of 15 I got my first healing massage, and it
set my life on a great course. I started to explore alternative healing,
massage, energy work, intuition and psychic ability. There is a common thread
that links them all together and that is spirituality, it allowed me to seek
spirituality without reading religious texts, and gave me my first sense of
direction of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I also started to get
interested in Runes and Tarot cards and found that I had a knack for reading
them. Truthfully I thought that everyone could, because it seemed rather easy,
but I was told by my mom that that wasn’t true, not everyone could. In my early
20’s I saw my first professional psychic on a bit of a whim, and she led me to my
first big awakening. She told me more about myself then my closest friends even
knew about me, and she also told me that I was gifted in that line of work, and
I could speak to deities, which led me to delve deeper into who and what I was.
One night I decided to try automatic writing, which was a weird and amazing
experience, and I still to this day use it as a tool to connect with my divine
crew so I can receive guidance when I need it. However, it freaked me out for a
while in the beginning, and it took me quite sometime to be able to do it
comfortably, and without massive headaches, and without being scared of it.
From that point on I dabbled in and out of my practices and my curiosities,
each relationship that I got into, I would toss my seeking on the back burner
and pretended that I wasn’t as spiritual as I really was; every time I got out
of a relationship, I would pick it right back up again. Then I started taking
alternative healing classes (Acupressure, Reiki, Reflexology, Rayid, Massage,
Ear Candling, numerology, and other various weekend workshops and seminars) which were amazing and helped me bring that side of me out into
the world a little more. Eventually I started my own practice so I could create
a hybrid of a session that brought in physical healing with energy, intuition,
and truthfully I would sneak in spirituality anywhere I could.
Then, at 31, I went to Bali and shit got real. I went heart
first into some serious spiritual awakening. You can get all the details HERE
there was so much that I experienced that changed me, but most importantly it
led me home. While I was there I set the very purposeful intention that I wanted
to bring the ability to have those experiences back to the west, I wanted to
find a way to guide other people to connect with the very core of their being,
the place in their heart that their home resides, without having to necessarily
go to Bali. Though hopefully there will be retreats that I guide there in my
future too.
When I got home I came back different, but I was more
authentic and whole then when I had left. I can no longer hide my spiritual
side, mostly because it isn’t a side of me anymore, it just is. I just am.
Since then, I can honestly say I love more, me, life, family, friends, strangers,
all experiences (even the less fun ones), really everything. Everything seems a whole lot lighter, clearer
and calmer, and life seems to make a whole lot more sense now then it ever did
before.
I also have my own coach, an incredible community with lots
of support and love, a clear purpose to bring spirituality, truth, clarity and
love to anyone who is ready to take this journey, and the deepest desire to
continue my own evolution, and the drive to continue to do so.
