My Journey of Awakening in Bali

I recently traveled to Bali, Indonesia and did a one week spiritual retreat that allowed me to find my home within my soul, fill me with unconditional love and compassion, and awaken my wisdom and healing gifts even more. I want to start this off by saying the amazing group of people that were with me on this journey made it all the more magical, and I have fallen in love with each of them in their own way and I am in awe and in the deepest sense of gratitude that I got to share in the experience of this awakening with them, The buddies that I had were particularly amazing and the unconditional love and support shared will stay with me for a lifetime! That being said I am doing my best to keep this blog to my personal experiences, but they most certainly were a huge part of it too.

Before going to Bali, I knew this was going to be a big holy shi.. experience, so much so that I didn't even want to think about it, and knew that I was just going to go with it and let whatever happened happen. I didn't want to think about it too much because I am pretty sure I could have thought myself right out of it! Bali is a really incredible place, where the veil is pretty much non existent - and what I mean when I say veil is the spiritual one, where spirits really do exist and are present in a palpable way, magic really can happen, the divine is tangible and all of it is ordinary! The following is the summary of my experiences, they are entirely truthful accounts of what happened and how I've awakened.

Our journey began at these amazing cleansing pools at Pura Tirta Empul, we were guided by the lovely Nik Starr, a Hindu Priestess. She showed us the ways to properly give an offering, how to receive a blessing, very importantly the etiquette of being in temples, and how to go through each water spout and what each one represented (purifying the aura, each chakra, masculine, feminine, love, gratitude, receiving a blessing). It was a really neat experience, I enjoyed it, and I loved the holy fish that were swimming around. I didn't always feel something as I went under each one, and what I did feel was very subtle, and at the end of it I felt really peaceful and relaxed.
The next place was Gunung Kwai where we were lead through a meditation while sitting on hot stones and in the sun. It was not the easiest meditation for me to get through, but I know the importance of getting really deeply grounded and connected to earth energy when going into work like this. We then went further into the grounds and went through the offering process again and received a blessing, then we went to the secret cave of the kings. As we were sitting across from the entrance of this cave, I started to feel a little nauseous, Nik explained that she was getting permission from the Kings to go into the cave, and I really hoped that we wouldn't get it, but we did. As we stood and started to line up to go into the cave a wave of energy washed over me and I felt like I was going to be sick, I grabbed a facilitator and asked where to go, because I really didn't want to vomit on something holy or sacred, and she led me out of that space, and as I got further away from it, I began to feel better. She asked if I was sick sick or energy sick, I have never experienced energy sickness like this before, I have been around places that I have felt a bit uncomfortable in, but never this overwhelmed or this kind of response. As we were talking I understood that I was afraid to go in because I knew that I wouldn't be the same person coming out as I was going in. So I went in anyway! As we got back closer to it I began to get teary (but no more nausea!) and I went in and joined the meditation.
This was the first awakening moment for me, the first thing that I heard was "welcome home" and had the feeling of excitement from the spirits of the Kings that I was there. I lay down on the stone floor I easily went into the meditation, each person had their own unique experience with it, and though I know it was guided, I can't recall a word of it until we were ready to receive a gift. For me I went through this incarnation, I left my body and went where ever it is that my soul resides, there was another being with me that was helping me to get ready to come back into human existence, and I wasn't 100% ready to do so, mostly because I knew that I had to leave a piece of myself behind in order to be able to learn how to live in and fit in the world as best I could. Then I came back down and the first thing I saw was the blurry sight of my parents looking down at me, this is when we were guided to receive a gift from the Kings, and I put my hands out and the piece of me that I left behind was the gift that I got from them. I was able to place it into the baby version of myself, like it has always been there, and allow it to be activated now in my present time. This made me cry, both the feeling of coming home and the feeling of becoming whole, it was amazing.
The next day we did a sound healing meditation, that involved instruments, singing, natural essences and colored scarves. I got a light pink scarf and a magenta scarf placed on me, and the meanings behind them were pink for unconditional love, and magenta for connection to ancestors, which made a lot of sense for me, my great grandmother was a shaman and her wisdom got lost in the last few generations, I was then told that I would get symbols and signs that would be unique to me, which was very interesting.
The next day was Margo's painting/color therapy workshop that I loved, we got to paint our chakras on life size papers with the outline of our bodies from just below the hips to just above the head. I haven't painted a thing since I was really really young, so connecting with painting was really great, again it was easy to slip into a meditative state and just go with it as we were given each color. The result of the painting was amazing, for me to see what was on the inside, fully on the outside was eye opening. I honestly have it up on a wall in my house to keep me reminded of how amazing my energy is. It was also the first time I really saw the Shamanistic qualities coming out. We also had a lovely Oracle Paula Shaw come in an talk to us about intuition and did a singular card reading for each of us. I got the Evolution card which made sense for me as this trip was really about my evolution as a person, as a healer, as a soul. She told me that she sensed Shaman energy with me, and touched on the evolution is also in a global way of bringing in new energies and new ways which resonated a lot as well!
Then came another big outing day! This was truly a really big day for me, we went to a traditional healer Tjakorda Rai which was not only amazing to get a one on one session with him, but to witness what he does was mind opening for me. When it was my turn I went up, he sits in his chair and goes through different acupressure points around the head and ears and finds the painful ones. I had two on the top of my head, he said it was stress, not from love but from work, he told me it is important for me to take care of myself and take energy in so I can give energy out. I also need to get out of the emotions of everything and out of ego. Which was so incredibly profound and simple at the same time. I really understood that I need to let go of wanting to take on others pain and suffering to help them feel better, and to stop going into and feeling the emotions of other people as they go through their journey's. I know I can listen with compassion, but I don't have to go into and feel their emotions within myself, when I do that it is feeding my ego, This was a really powerful moment for me, to really know grasp the understanding of what this meant for me and how I understood how to move forward with being a healer in the healthiest way possible for me. I also made the commitment to myself to devote myself to my journey and my self care and knowing that that actually takes precedence over everything else in my life, and when I do that, everything else will naturally fall into harmonious place.
Our next visit was to Jero Ayu, this beautiful woman who channels the spirit of Quan Yin who is the Goddess of compassion and healing. She was amazing, we began with her opening our hearts so she came to each one of us and placed her hand on our heart. When she got to me my heart was pounding so hard beneath my chest, and there was nothing I could do to slow it down or to change it at all, when placed her hand on my heart she said (it was translated for us) that I have a very strong heart and it needed to come out and through, she tilted my chin back so I was looking up and ran her hands along the side of my head and upwards, she also hit me in the back with a rock! But instantly the my strong pounding heart eased, and I felt calm and at peace. She then got us all to dance and one by one she would bring us back over to the spot where we could lie down and meditate, She came to me and placed her forehead to mine and we spent a blissful moment like that and then I was guided to go lie down. I tried really hard to get into meditation at this point but I just couldn't close my eyes, and after a short period of time I started staring at the ceiling, which was covered in red fabrics, and between two lanterns, written on the fabric, was my name. I shit you not. My name. The C was mostly gone, but the larissa was clearly there, and not there in the spirit sense, but in the physical real world. I wigged out about this for a while. Then Jero came over and placed two fingers over my sacral chakra which I could feel was blocked and then gently removed them and I was able to go into a deep meditation that began with me feeling like my mind had opened up and all I could see was blue sky and clouds within my mind that was bordered by a stone frame, it felt like a portal. Her helper was also a beautiful energy, she placed her hands gently on my feet which helped to deepen it as well. I went into the energy of my chakras and I saw them very differently then I have ever seen them, there were gold symbols surrounding each one and gold rods that were going through them, and then there were many chakras that ran in a line below my root chakra and above my crown chakra all with the same strange symbols around them, these symbols and their energy moved outwards to envelop me and I had the very distinct awareness that I am Infinite. Before coming back out from the meditation, this energy and the symbols became part of my auric field and when I tuned into that energy I could still sense them, it was amazing!! ( I am in the process of painting these symbols now!) Once the meditation was done, she talked more about compassion and balancing head and heart, and after thanking people for bringing us and translating, she looked at me and said that I've loved deep in my heart and she hopes that I will continue to come out, and she knows I will because she can see it in my smile. She then opened it up to questions. So both times she spoke to me, it was only to me, she didn't specifically give a message to anyone else in the group. At first it I just thought of it as this really amazingly compassionate and kind lady talked to me, and after some processing I realized that it was the Goddess Quan Yin that intentionally talked to me, and that is really important for me to acknowledge that, honor and celebrate it. Wow!
The final experience was with Ida Resi a high priestess for a water purification/blessing. We start in meditation/prayer and setting the intention of what we want released, which for me was fear of stepping into my own greatness and power as a healer, as a shaman, as a guru. When I went up for it, I was with the best buddy possible, and not a lot happened for me, my hands went really numb, I really didn't feel like I needed to make any sound, and it was over fairly quickly. She then told us to go over and stand in the sun and stretch our bodies. When I looked down there was a beautiful green dragonfly attached to my sarong, I thought that it was stuck there because it got wet, so my buddy handed me a towel so I could dry my hands off enough to help it out. So I sat down and the dragonfly and I just stared at each other. I then realized that it had a small brown spider that was attached to its leg (which I am fearful of spiders) and that was the reason it was stuck and couldn't fly. I ended up using a water bottle lid to get the spider off, and my buddy helped to get it off of me, where I was guided to kill it. Then I waited, while still staring into the dragonfly's eyes, and slowly it began to wiggle its tail and its wings, then after some time it took a few steps forward, then a few more, then I placed my hand out for it and it walked into the palm of my hand, where I raised it up to eye level and thanked it for its message and sent it pure love and gratitude, and the moment I was done it flew off. I don't think the universe/divine could have been more clear in this experience. My fears were small and insignificant, and now that they are released (and smashing them) I am free to fly.

Now that I have been home for a couple of weeks things are settling in, and though I didn't know if I could take the experiences from Bali and have them be applicable here, I've really come to realize that that is my new ordinary. Magic, Compassion, Love are all parts of my daily life, and I am excited about where my journey is going to continue to take me, and what living life with a very thin veil looks like. and how I can help others bring this same ordinariness into their own lives.
What a trip!

Bridging the Gap

As I have moved forward with creating a more holistic session with Fusion Massage Therapy I have come to realize a few things, the first being that I am bridging the gap from traditional Western techniques and traditional "woo-woo" techniques ( I like to think I'm helping to create the woo west :)) At one point massage was considered woo-woo and was really only for relaxation and pampering purposes, and we now know that it is actually quite an important piece of the self care puzzle, and it helps to relieve pain, improve the immune system, improve mobility, along with creating a better sense of peace and relaxation, so in other words really working with the body. The traditional ancient/sacred healing and intuitive practices that are also brought into a Fusion session are there to work with everything else, the mind, the spirit, the energy that makes up us as a whole being. It addresses the underlying causes for discomfort, releases the blocks that are in the way of living the best life possible, and allowing the whole to heal in a natural and safe way. They may seem wooy but these are the practices that have been around far longer than the Western techniques, and to bring together both sides into one balanced session, simply allows for a more whole and deep healing experience, and best of all, it feels amazing!

My passion for both sides of the healing spectrum has led me to create Omnia to be a safe space where deep healing can happen, and create a session that allows the same.  Each Fusion session isn't about what you have to do differently, it isn't about becoming a gluten-free, hemp wearing vegan (which I am not, but it's great if that's what resonates with you) and it isn't about needing to change your lifestyle to fit an idea of what living the good life is unless of course, it is your idea. It is about reconnecting with exactly who you are and what that looks like for you, and that is unique to you. That is why each session is unique to each individual, though the massage aspect of a Fusion session is quite standard, what comes up otherwise for each person is unique to them. Which I go over with each person to end the session!

Ultimately I just wanted these healing practices to be accessible to everyone, and to create something that retains its comfort level while helping to co-create lasting change and wellness. Truthfully I'm really grateful to be healing the gap in this bridge.

Feeling tired after a healing session? Here's why!

Frequently people feel very relaxed, and often quite tired after a healing session. This is completely normal, and if sessions typically affect you in this way, its always best to plan one when you know you have time to have some down time! Tiredness happens for a couple of reasons:

- if you are highly stressed in your day to day life, and you are finally taking a break
- not sleeping adequately for even a short period of time, your body wants to catch up
- and most importantly, because your body is healing and it needs the time and space to continue to do so.

Our bodies are amazing healers, we just don't give ourselves the time to let that happen. Which is the reason why us healers exist. When you are feeling like you need a nap after a session, its your body's way of letting you know that the healing that happened on the table, needs a little more time to sink and settle in, and really create healthy change. Resting is what supports and allows for this change to occur. Do your best to listen to, and honor your body during this time, and rest as much as you need to!

To Chiro or Not To Chiro

Questions about chiropractics comes up quite a bit in my practice. I have been asked many questions about it so I thought I would clarify my stance on chiropractics!

I personally see a chiropractor (Dr. Kennedy @ Full Circle ) I have gone the traditional chiropractor route as in the really physical adjustments which may or may not include a highly specialized body slam, which is highly effective. But I now see a NUCCA specialist, (click on it for full info) they work very gently and with the righting reflex, if your head is on straight your body will follow suit, and your spine will gently and naturally restore itself.
I have needed chiropractic care since the age of 16, it is something that has been very important in keeping me well, I have worked physically demanding jobs for most of my life, I carried a heavy backpack as a kid, I don't always have great posture. All of those things have lead me to both chiro and massage to reduce physical pain, tension, headaches, dizziness, keep my digestion system flowing in a healthy way, helps me breathe better, sleep better, and also led me to the career that I am in.

Chiropractics are looking at and fixing the bones and joints (they also do wrists, shoulders, elbows, ankles if need be!) Massage looks at the muscles that are holding and supporting the bones and joints. So, when their powers are combined, they help each other out, adjustments will last longer (muscles won't go back into unhealthy holding patterns), massages will be more effective and last longer as well.

Not everyone needs a chiropractor, so if you don't feel like you want to or need to see one, then don't. It's Your body which means it is Your choice. But know that it is very safe, they have actual Doctor designations, they have trained for 7 years (usually longer when they specialize). If you have an aversion to cracking bones, check out NUCCA, if you are uncomfortable with a specific technique be vocal, a good Dr. will listen to you and honour your wishes and do what they can to get you back to wellness within your comfort levels.

By all means if you have any other questions please feel free to ask me!

What's All That Gurgling About? The Truth Behind Stomach Noises During Massage

I've heard all kinds of abdominal gurgling in massage sessions, and I have also heard apologies time and time again. The truth is, no apology is ever needed when your stomach decides to let itself be heard!
Here are some of the little know facts as to what it is and why:

- There is actually a term for 'the rumbling or gurgling noise made by the fluid or gas moving through the intestines' it is called borborygmus (bor-bo-ryg-mus)
- When your back is getting massaged - especially the lower back- your intestines are getting some of the benefit, they sit just beneath the muscles, and this helps to improve their function.
- When our brains perceive stress, our body takes it as a sign of distress and goes on high alert, which slows down our rest and digest system, and puts our energy and resources into our fight or flight system instead, it diverts blood flow and resources to our arms and legs (so we can punch or run), to our eyes (to see what we are hitting or where we are running), and to our hearts and lungs. *the stress can be due to work deadlines, driving on winter roads, an argument with a friend or partner, or even just seeing a spider on the roof over there, we are a pretty high stress society!.  
- The part of the nervous system (parasympathetic) that is responsible for getting our digestive system working is coined as the 'rest and digest' division. The reason being, when we enter into a relaxed state, it signals to the body it is the optimal time to digest and kicks our digestive system into working.
-or you could just be hungry.

So during a massage your body gets time for much needed rest and starts (or resumes) getting to it's digestive work, which leads to all kinds of noise, which quite frankly, as a holistic massage therapist, I don't really even notice nearly as much as you do (and I am happy to hear it, it means you are relaxing!). So do yourself a favor and when you hear a gurgle, take a moment to just be happy that your body is doing an amazing job, and just go back to relaxing!